Homeschool Help: What Does a “Lifestyle of Learning” Look Like?

 

Again, the Boyer's advise on homeschooling our talented children have been very helpful.   My very adventurous girl will do her homework in the great outdoors and actually do it!  she is one of those who would hate to have to sit and be stuck indoors, rain or shine.

Here is Marilyn again  (here is the last post about A Life style of learning)

We must remember that the school classroom functions as it does NOT because that has been found to be the superior method of education, but because that is the only option for mass-producing students. It contradicts, in fact, the evidence that children learn best in a realistic, life-like setting, with hands-on experience.

As John Taylor Gatto reminds:

“It is absurd and anti-life to move from cell to cell at the sound of a gong for every day of your natural youth in an institution that allows you no privacy and even follows you into the sanctuary of your home demanding that you do its ‘homework.’

‘How will they learn to read?’…When children are given whole lives instead of age-graded ones in cellblocks they learn to read, write, and do arithmetic with ease if those things make sense in the kind of life that unfolds around them.”  From Why Schools Don’t Educate

So, what does a “lifestyle of learning” look like from day to day? Different for every family. But, upon many requests, I thought I’d offer some practical ways to encourage your child to utilize his curiosity about his world. The ideas are really endless. I’d love to hear YOURS!

• Simply expose them. To books, to conversation, to places, to people, to animals, to cooking, to building, to nature. We simply cannot underestimate a child’s ability to take in, process and store information–something inherent at birth. This begins at birth and the fewer distractions like TV or phones, the better for motivating them to learn about their world.

 

• Listen and watch. A child learns things best in the context of what interests him. Find out what that is, give him experiences around his interests and then look to see the learning opportunities. For example, my 8-year-old son loves building things and he loves large machines. And by “love” I mean he’s obsessed. We have let him build a playhouse (with a little help from Sis), supervising his use of the saw and nail gun. It has taken quite a bit of thought about measurements and angles and my husband has been able to really show him the importance of “squaring” the frame, etc. It’s an excellent exercise in problem-solving. That geometry makes sense to him whereas if I handed him a geometry worksheet right now he wouldn’t have a clue.

• Bait the house with books. This is my favorite. I leave books on art, science, animals and other subjects lying around and sometimes an older child will pick it up and become absorbed and even begin to read and explain it to a younger one. Or when someone crawls up beside me, I open it and start reading. I just ordered a set of “Nature Friend” magazines from Ebay and I’m excited to see how they like those too.

• Let them learn from other people. Do you have friends or family who have a particular trade or skill? Would they mind some of your children hanging out to observe? If that isn’t an option, there are great videos that teach different skills for children who show interest.

• Build vocabulary naturally. Being intentional about the words we use with our children is the best way to build their vocabulary. Random words on a worksheet are much harder to memorize than if they learn the word in context of life and language. Conversation is the best way to improve communication skills. Something, in our technologically-filled lives, that takes deliberate attention.

• Focus on the traits that matter. Any time you research for “most important qualities of a successful person” or “qualities employers look for”, or something similar, the results that turn up always focus on character and NEVER include test scores or degrees. Do we take that to heart and intentionally teach and train character? Communication skills, problem-solving, and integrity rank at the top of almost every list.

LIVE. That’s the way to a superior education. Here is part of our check list, academically speaking:

1. Can they write well, speak well and convey their thoughts well? What are some activities that will facilitate these?


2. Are they numerate? Do they know how to handle numbers, do they understand fractions and how to work out number problems? As they get older, do they know how money works, do they understand debt and interest and budgeting? Very important.


3. Can they type?


4. Do they have a good grasp of history and the workings of the government? We especially want them to read biographies from great men and women of the past.


5. Are they exposed to art in a variety of forms, and music? (If they show giftedness/interest, are we doing what we can to help them excel?)


6. Do they have a heavy dose of common sense?

Charge ahead with confidence!

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A Different Way To Homeschool: A LifeStyle Of Learning

I have a daughter who loves to learn just about anything.  Here she is flying an airplane in this plane simulator.  Life is so interesting to her except when she is sitting down on a desk and asked to do some copywork.  Well, when you're 7 or 8 years old, who wants to do that, when you can be out on a beautiful day learning about how a goat births her kids?  I went to Government schools where I was very good at sitting down and doing everything my teachers said.  Now, I have had to unlearn that this is the way you learn things.  Not so, most children are naturally explorers and are given to us with a natural love for learning.  We must be careful to not spoil it by purchasing all these expensive homeschool curriculums and expecting they follow the rigid schedule and not miss a day because they might not learn or be at the same academic level as public school kids.  Take a big breath.  Aaaahhhh, teaching has never been so much fun with my older daughter as I dropped continuous assignments.  Every year I got more and more flexible with the homeschool schedule that I don't even have it scheduled. 

Our homeschool rule is:  If there is nothing more exciting or interesting going on, then we'll sit down and do some school work.  Well, this is hardly the case.  There seems to always be something more educational going on like, attending to our vegetable garden, picking up two little birds that fell from their nest, watching the goat birth twin kids, talking to visitors, walking to a creek, building a little boat, doing art, selling craigslist items, acting out Bible stories, writing letters to Christians in Prison, cooking, excavating for dinasour fossils, singing, playing piano, helping Dad, working on our family business.....When we are not doing this, my kids favorite time indoors with Mom is to read real living books about historical biographies, God's creation, inspirational stories and of course The Scriptures.

Here is an excellent guide by the Boyer family who have gone before us and from whom I have learned a lot:

(Guest post by Marilyn Boyer of Character Concepts)

One thing I have learned?from one of my struggling learners is that unless some children?want?to learn, they just won’t apply themselves to do it. Unless they?have a desire to learn something, it’s extremely hard for some of them to be able to concentrate and focus.

Some kids are motivated and know what they have to do, set their own goals and get it done.?Other children, however, need to understand why learning is important in order to apply themselves.

If you have a child like this, train yourself to study him and see what matters to to him the most. Then, look for a way to apply what you are trying to teach him to something that he cares about.

For instance, if you are trying to teach handwriting skills and your child just doesn’t care if he writes neatly, let him write something that’s important, like a letter to the editor of the newspaper.

Letters to the editor are one of the most highly read sections of the newspaper, and we found editors love to publish letters written by kids, because it’s so unusual to have a child care enough to write.

Have your child read about an issue and write a letter to be read by thousands of people he can potentially influence. Suddenly, he will care about handwriting, grammar, spelling and communication skills.

If he struggles with math, find a use for that skill you are trying to teach. For example, if you are teaching percentages, go to a sale, let him figure out how much off you are getting on deals, or let him bake a pie and cut it up to learn fractions.

For a boy who loves to build, buy him some wood and let him use measurements to build a bookcase or birdhouse. If your child is interested in airplanes, but not in geometry, let them see the plans the Wright Bros. drew up to make their first glider. These examples are examples of projects I have actually done with my kids.

Find creative ways to apply what you teach, by connecting learning with your kids’ passions, and see if that doesn’t make a huge difference in how they learn.

If you are teaching skills for writing a paper, let your child choose the topic, whether it is about the Tuskegee Airmen or hunting white-tailed deer.

Let your children make bread and sell it, raise chickens, sell the eggs and learn about accounting and small business.

This is the beauty of home education- being able to customize your teaching to your unique child!?I admit, it takes some reprogramming on the part of you, the mom, because we do things the way we’ve seen them done, the way they were taught to us in school. But remember, if there is a better way for your child to learn, climb out of the box and train yourself to enjoy learning with your children!

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A Woman Is: Gentle

“They call woman sometimes, in thoughtless flattery, an angel, but here an angel in sober truth she is, a messenger sent by God to assuage the sorrows of humanity. The worn traveler who has come through the desert with his life and nothing more; the warrior faint and bleeding from the battle; the distressed of every age and country-long instinctively for this Heaven-provided help. Deep in the sufferer’s nature, in the hour of his need, springs the desire to feel a woman’s hand binding his wound or wiping his brow-to hear soft words dropping from a woman’s lips….Woman was needed in Eden; how much more in this thorny world outside! Physically, the vessel is weak, but in that very weakness her great strength lies. If knowledge is power in department, gentleness is power in woman’s.” From The Family by J.R. Miller. again a book I like to reread because I get convicted and inspired to be the woman God has called us to be.

We are commanded by God to be of a "gentle and quiet spirit".   This inward behavior is not easy to cultivate.  In fact, it is hard, very hard and impossible without the Holy Spirit's help.  A gentle woman is a strong woman.  It is easy and natural to be loud and boisterous.  It takes character and self control to be of a quiet spirit.   It is easy to be sloppy, and careless.  It takes patience and love to be gentle.

Too often our culture has looked down on the "gentle and quiet spirit" in a woman because it seems as a sign of weakness.  Therefore, Christian woman think they have to be loud to be heard and noticed and have a manly tomboish disposition to be strong.  Not so, it speaks the opposite, insecurity and weak spirit with no self-control.

Our families and the world need our gentle touch in their hurting lives.  Our nursing hands will bring healing to the broken hearts around us.  Let us stop and be transformed into women of a "gentle and quiet spirit which is precious in the sight of God" 1 Peter 3:4

I invite anyone who wants to participate in this topic chain about "A Woman is..."  You will pick a word about what a woman is and write a short post about it.  I will review it and post it.  This is an exiting time we live in when we have the opportunity to restore the real meaning of Biblical Womanhood.  You can be a part of this ministry.  Send me a message or leave a comment.

 

 

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Baby-Led Introduction To Solids

This is a good article on starting babies on solid foods.  I don't like the idea of "baby-led" because it makes it seem like baby is in control.  But in reality, you are in control.  You decide when baby is ready to start and you decide, pick and choose baby's food.  Baby in control, in my experience and opinion, is dangerous.

**This post has been entered in “Works for me Wednesdays” at We are THAT Family!**

When it comes to solid food, all babies start eating it eventually. The typical wisdom (of late) has been to start baby on rice cereal at 4 – 6 months, the follow up with vegetables, then fruits, and later, dairy and meats. There have been different ideas through the years (including starting babies on rice cereal as early as 2 weeks old!), but one thing all these “plans” have in common are that babies are spoon-fed their early meals.

Not so in baby-led solids.

Baby-led solids is a relatively new idea. Babies are never fed from a spoon or offered any type of purees. They are also rarely offered grains as a first food, but instead are given ripe, raw fruits and vegetables, cheese, or even bits of meat. The food is placed on a tray in front of them, and the baby is encouraged to do what he will with it — play with it, smash it, lick it, and eat it. If he chooses not to eat, that’s okay.

Babies obviously have to be a bit older before they start solids for this to work. Most babies are more in the range of 6 to 8 months, and some are even older before they’ll actually eat anything this way. The idea is that if the baby refuses to eat at all, or refuses a particular food, he must not be ready for it. If he DOES choose to eat something, he must be ready for it and he clearly wants it. This gives the baby all the control over what and how much he eats. Since the baby has (hopefully) had demand-feeding up until now, he has always had control over how much he eats (and when), and he has self-regulated well. With baby-led solids, he can continue to self-regulate his eating.

We will be doing baby-led solids with Daniel. He is about 5.5 months at this time, so too young (although he does try to grab our food sometimes!). We’re hoping to hold off until 8 months. This is especially important to us because of the history of food allergies. We are hoping that he will not eat things that do not make him feel good (sometimes, kids with allergies will refuse all foods until they are over a year, or certain foods, because they seem to know it is not good for them).

So, WHY would anyone do this? And what should you feed first?

Kelly Mom has a good chart and FAQ on starting solids. She recommends no earlier than 6 months, and cautions that solids DO NOT REPLACE BREASTMILK (or formula)! Solids are only for tasting and experimenting until around age 1. (Side note: Kelly mom says that babies who start solids earlier and eat more of them tend to wean earlier, too. If you have already started your baby on solids before 6 months and s/he is eating a fair amount, and you had hoped to breastfeed for quite awhile yet, don’t worry! We started Bekah at 4 months and she ate a lot of solids, too, and she is still an avid nurser at 23 months. So, whatever “mistakes” you make, you can fix or overcome!)

La Leche League weighs in on baby-led solids, too (frequently called “baby led weaning;” I don’t like this term because it implies that you are putting the baby from breastmilk onto solids, and this shouldn’t be true — baby should continue to breastfeed while adding complementary foods).

It’s important to know how a baby’s gut develops. (Click the link for indepth information. It also thoroughly explains the “leaky gut syndrome” I mentioned in a previous post.) If a baby is exclusively breastfed from birth (no supplementation at all), his or her gut will close and begin to mature around 18 weeks. Solids should never be started earlier than this. In babies who are formula fed or who have been supplemented with formula on occasion, it takes even longer for the gut to mature. Using probiotics can help, although breastfeeding is best. The reason that solid foods can’t be started until the gut has closed and matured is that until this time, large, undigested proteins can get from the intestines into the bloodstream, where the body can begin to attack them as foreign invaders, creating an allergic reactions. When the gut is mature, proteins don’t pass into the bloodstream until fully digested, and therefore don’t create allergic reactions (this is why special formulas have pre-digested proteins or even basic amino acids, in an attempt to bypass this issue and cause no allergic reactions).

However, age isn’t the only thing to look for when starting solids. The calendar is a good start — as in, don’t start sooner than 6 months of age, unless advised for real medical reasons (a lot of doctors will say “sure, 4 months is fine!” but not have any particular reason why your child NEEDS solids so early; I would not consider this a medical reason). But also look for:

*Doubled birth weight
*Ability to sit unassisted
*Development of the “pincer grasp”
*Interest in food (watching you eat, grabbing your food)
*Loss of the tongue-thrust reflex

If your baby doesn’t have ALL of these, he’s not ready for solids. Solids, contrary to popular belief, will not help a babysleep through the night (there is controversy regarding babies with reflux, but my personal belief is that reflux is usually caused by allergies, or immature digestive system, and neither is fixed by feeding unnecessary food, or drugs). It is important to note that breastmilk contains 22 – 35 calories/ounce, and formula contains about 22 calories/ounce. Early solids will typically contain 5 – 10 calories/ounce, and should make up a very sparing part of the child’s diet. Put this way, it’s obvious that breastmilk is the fattiest and most filling food, and that solids will not “fill the child up” and help him/her to sleep longer.

Once a baby IS ready, though, here are some good first foods:

*Avocado
*Squash
*Sweet potatoes
*Chicken (cut in very tiny pieces, to avoid choking)
*Cooked apples (cut in very tiny pieces)
*Cooked pears
*Egg yolks (no whites)

You will notice that no type of grains are on this list. This is because grains are not good for young babies. The Weston A. Price Foundation recommends that no grains be introduced until around age 2 because babies have a very hard time digesting grains. They actually recommend that animal products (egg yolks, then liver, then other meats and butter) bebaby’s first foods, starting fruits and vegetables only after 10 months. Babies don’t handle “roughage” well as adults do, because they don’t produce much amylase, an enzyme required to digest grains and other roughage.

Introduce foods only one at a time, no more often than every three days. It can take awhile for reactions to show up, so iffoods are introduced too quickly, it can be hard to tell which is causing a reaction. In children with a family history of allergies (especially siblings), waiting a week between new foods is a good idea. Reactions may include the following:

*Diarrhea
*Vomitting (especially projectile)
*Constipation
*Hives
*Trouble breathing/anaphylaxis
*Eczema
*Night waking
*Screaming
*Belly pain/upset/gas
*Cradle cap

Please be aware that eczema flare-ups ARE a sign of allergy and are NOT normal (Bekah’s eczema ONLY flares up when she’s eaten a food she’s allergic to, and her doctor has indicated this is a sign to watch for). Please also be aware that some of these symptoms can be a sign that the baby is simply not ready for the food and NOT an allergy, but it still means you must wait awhile before trying it agai
n. It is a good idea to introduce filtered water and a good probiotic at the same time as you introduce solids to hopefully minimize any reactions (per Bekah’s doctors).

A lot of babies experience severe constipation when rice cereal is introduced first — Bekah did. They actually cry and strain. This is not normal, and is a sign that their bodies are not ready to digest grains. Many parents are told this IS normal and are advised to give their babies juice, or worse, medical suppositories. The best answer is to stop feeding grains and start with other foods, or simply wait longer to feed foods at all. Remember: babies are NOT supposed to be getting a large portion of their calories from their food yet. They are only tasting and learning about new textures, experimenting.

When introducing a food, cut up a small bit of it into tiny pieces and place them on a highchair tray. Sit the baby in the highchair, and encourage him/her to play with, lick, and eat the food. If s/he is not interested, don’t push him/her to try it. Just wait a couple days and try again. Always watch your child carefully when s/he is eating, especially in the first few months. If the baby indicates s/he likes the food and wants more (baby sign is really great for this), or wants some help, go ahead and help. This is BABY LED, but that doesn’t mean you can’t help if the baby would like you to.

Once you have introduced several foods, you can start to put more than one on the tray at once, or serve some of the family’s meal to the baby (for example: egg yolks cooked with some meat). Introducing butter and coconut oil early on is a good idea, too, because both provide the needed saturated fat and cholesterol to the baby ( coconut oil is cholesterol-free but does contain the medium-chain fatty acids found, besides coconut, only in mother’s milk). The Weston A. Price Foundation has lots of good ideas on feeding babies (linked above).

In case you find this article a bit strange and lest you think I feel like I’m a “perfect parent” for doing things this way (as it’s been brought to my attention that sometimes I come off that way when I don’t mean to), let me tell you about my experience feeding Bekah. She was given formula supplements from birth to 6 weeks, then exclusively breastfed until 4 months. She was started on rice cereal just prior to reaching 18 weeks. I did this because she had stopped sleeping well at night at 3 months (although she was STILL only waking once per night, which, believe me, is a whole lot better than Daniel’s doing now at almost 5.5 months) and I felt like she needed “more” and it would help her sleep through the night (it didn’t. She only starting sleeping through the night “most of the time” at 22 months). Within a week we were trying pears, peas, bananas, apples, carrots, and various other foods. We didn’t wait more than 2 or 3 days in between foods, and I didn’t note any allergic reactions as such (horrible constipation from the rice cereal, followed by diarrhea and night waking from peas, which we now know she is allergic to). By 6 months I kind of was trying to hold back, but also sort of letting her eat “whatever.” I spoonfed her everything, and made purees for her. I usually fed her either a puree of fruit or vegetable (broccoli was another common one early on) for her meals, or I fed her over-cooked, mushy, cut up fruit or vegetables. When I didn’t have any around (I never bought any jars), I would feed her whatever was around — pastacoated in canned tomato soup, cream or cheese soups, even Taco Bell cheese roll-ups once or twice. I loved that she’d eat anything. At 8 months or so I’d give her “whatever” half the time, and sweet potatoes mixed with brown rice for dinner. That stopped at 11 months after she got the stomach flu and refused to eat it anymore. Right around her birthday, she stopped eating anything except apples, bananas, bread, cheese, and potatoes, when previously she’d eaten anything. Just after this we started discovering all her allergies…and since then we’ve been on a roller coaster ride of trying to heal her, get her to try new foods, etc. etc. She is FINALLY willing to at least try most foods now, and is sleeping through the night…most of the time (she is 23 months). There were months and months where we just had to feed her more applesauce, or another slice of bread, because she literally would not eat anything else. It was very frustrating. Anyway — we’re trying really hard to avoid that with Daniel, so I’ve done all this research on how we can do a better job feeding him so that (hopefully) it doesn’t happen again. Knock on wood.

How and when did you begin solids with your baby? What did you feed first? Has this post brought new ideas to you about infant feeding?

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How To Start Baby On Solid Food Safely

With the rise of food allergies on babies, it is important to understand why and how to introduce our babies to eating solid food?  Babies are started on solids far too early now days.  It was not so in past generations.  Some have even told me how they let their baby eat at three months.  This is one of the reason for many baby sicknesses and disorders like eczema, constipation, food allergy and digestive disorders and others.  Babies's stomachs are not developed enough to digest most foods until after one year old.  Even then, stomachs continue to mature so they can't fully digest many vegetables until 5 years old.  So, Mom, relax if your toddler doesn't like vegetables.  If he is over one year old, continue faithfully to offer cooked vegetables but never force them on your child.  You enjoy them as to encourage him to try them.  It will take about 15 tastes before they develop taste buds for it.  It is a battle not worth fighting in contention.

Ok, back to baby food.  Process foods have been outlawed in our home, at least by me.  The law is broken once in awhile though.  How could highly processed rice cereal be the first food I give my baby?  To be clear, babies don't need any other nutrient from solid food than breastmilk (or formula).   What you can do is introduce them to the concept of solids, different textures and tastes, and eating skills.  You can do this when baby seems ready, usually wanting to grab the food you are eating and when they have developed pincer fingering- picking up small objects.  Nothing should be given to babies before 6 months.  My ideal would be after one year.

My experiences:

My second daughter, Destiny, didn't eat until one year old.   She did great.  I didn't have to worry about food allergies.  She was ready, her stomach was moredeveloped and has been a healthy girl.



Danielle, my first one, tried out pureed carrots at 6 months.  She flared up with eczema in her face.  I stopped the food and kept her on breast milk.  After a year she resumed solid food with no problem.  She breastfed until she was 3 and a half years old.

Noah, however, would want to eat at 7 months.  That's when he showed signs of ready to start leaning to eat.  But I was so careless to let him grab pieces of bread.  This severely constipated him.  For two months he suffered from constipation.  I eliminated grains and only allowed him to try soluble fiber foods like fruit.  Drinking an herbal tea also helped him.  I had a hard time keeping him away from food.  To this point, this little boy loves to eat.  But since he was 9 months old, no more constipation.  After a year old, he was fine eating everything.  But I was always cautious on the bread.

Then Liberty here started taking food in at nine months.  At 8 months I would give her the carrot, celery, cucumber and apple sticks for her to grab and play with, not eat.  That is all they need when we sit at the table and they want to eat.  They will be content.  But at nine months, she wanted more.  So slowly I gave her some food.

Here is a list of good foods to start with:

Avocado

egg yolk (cooked, not the white)

blueberries

chicken stock

cooked vegetables

cooked apples, pear, peach

cheese

yogurt

Bananas can be constipating and create mucus, so I stay away from them until one year old.

Of course, you will introduce one at a time.  Remember, taste buds are being developed.  Try to keep the food simple without sugar and salt.

Overall, keep it simple.  Food introduction before 1 year is only for taste and learning how to eat, not for nutrition.  Breast milk is all they need at this time.  After a year, baby can eat pretty much everything.  But be cautious with anything that would upset him.  Keep vegetables cooked.

What are some ways you start your baby on solids?  What are some experiences you have had with your babies?

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How To Make Dolls Clothes From Mismatched Socks

From Little Homemakers in Training.  Encouraging our daughters to make their own dolls clothes is excellent for their creativity in design and caring for their dolls, thus practicing their motherly gift.
Danielle's Creativity:

"My aunt gave us a bag with mismatched baby socks. I have a little baby doll that didn't have clothes, only one dress. So I got the idea to make some baby clothes for it from the socks. My sister, Destiny, also gave a whole bunch of her mismatched socks.

You need:
Safety pinsscissors
Cute mismatched socks

How to do it:
Cut the sock from the toes area and make whole for the head.
On the sides of the the toes end area cut two smaller wholes for the arms.
Try it on your doll. Use different sock sizes for bigger dolls.



I found that my Mom's kitchen scissors work best for me. Maybe because I am left handed.



I am so happy my baby has more clothes now because I like changing them. Here is my baby doll with a rag doll my Mom made for me.

 

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Family Fun With A Cardboard Box

The funnest and most inexpensive toy in the world is a big or small cardboard box.

The house in front of us was being remodeled and I noticed some appliance boxes in the front.  I asked if I could have them and it soon became the favorite adventure for weeks to come.  They children will become creative in what they want to turn it into and then designing it.  Here are some of the benefits of getting a "free" cardboard box for your kids.

1.  It encourages creativity,

2. Engineering skills in designing it,

3. Bonding with each other as siblings as they play together,

4. Bonding with parents as they work together  to make the pretend play,

5. Money saver,

6. So much fun and much more!

This particular box was a kitchen at one point.  Then it became a house to come to visit.  The next week, it was a food stand, then a camping tent.  It got so wilted that it ended up in the garage because we were too sad to part with it.  It remained there until out it went.



 

 

Here are some cardboard box ideas that you can create with things around the house. Perfect for a rainy day! From: http://boysgerms.com.au/?s=cardboard+box

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The Home: A Place of Economics - Part 9

I really want to inspire women to come back home and make it their center for economic affairs.  It can be their source, not a sacrifice.  I wish to debunk the myths about why a woman needs to work outside the home to make it financially and bring in another paycheck.  Although I do not know every situation, impossible and by all means, God is in control of every one of our lives, I would take the topic biblically.  You take your situation to the Lord.  Hopefully, husband will also do all he can to have wife at home.

1. Every member of the family is a contributor

No free riders here.  So many teenagers have been so spoiled with their parents providing everything for them without asking anything in return.  The teen earns some money for his own pleasure.  The young adult starts work for his own interests as well.  Of course, each child can save for personal expenses, but the family has one bank account.  We are so used to seeing each other very individualistic that we have forgotten that we are part of a family unit.  We all work together toward the same goal.

It was well said of years past that the bigger the family the better well off they were financially because each member of the family contributed to the family economics.

It is important that children are trained to understand about bills and being resourceful.  They can contribute by being conservative in consuming utilities.  They should also have work assigned to them that they are responsible for.  I tell my kids everyday, “if you don’t work, you don’t eat.”  Even before breakfast, they have had to do some type of work I assign for each of them.  We don’t give allowance because we don’t believe in free money.  We earn it by working.  If the children want something, they find ways to make money.  Of course, we also give gifts.  We love giving gifts but the gifts are well thought out for a purpose.

Training the children to contribute

At our home, I hold tea parties on a weekly basis.  We call them entrepreneurial tea parties.  After preparing the yummy dainties together and learning manners and respectable behavior, I also tell them in advance to bring all their business ideas.  I write them on a board to brainstorm.  We are impregnated with ideas, tons of them.  We are always pretty busy working on something.  Our home is a booming place of industry.   I like instilling in the children an entrepreneurial spirit.  They get creative and really start going on what we can make to sale and services we can provide.  It is really fun.  It changes their thinking from expecting Dad to be the sole income provided to everyone being actively at it.  We are a six-income household.  That’s right even baby is included in businesses.  Our little Liberty makes great photography poses.

What Can Mom Do?

At this point of my life, I am consumed with the training of my little people.  So I inspire them in business endeavourers and help them make it a reality.  It is part of our home education.  We make things together and sell them.   I also help my husband in whatever I can.  I am overwhelmed by the potential we have at home to generate income.  All we need is creativity.  Other things we can do is to save, stretch the money that comes in.  Practicing frugality doesn’t mean living cheap; far from it.  Many times being frugal for us means living healthier.

Trusting in the Lord for our finances

I have experienced the hand of God on our lives as we have chosen to obey His Word about being a keeper at home, taking the responsibility of training our children, and being a helper to my husband, not some other man at work.  We have had no income for over three years now and we have lacked nothing.  In fact, God has provided over abundantly many times.  We don’t know where our food is going to come next month.  How are we going to pay our bills?  It is interesting that the Lord gave us all four of our children in the times of lack.  When my husband was laid off, our firstborn came.  Then his business close and the last two were born.  During these last three and a half years, we have story after story of God’s Providences over our lives.

I am not the only one to have this testimony.  I know others, and have heard of miracles God has done as mothers decide to stay home and raise their children.  Even single mothers have been able to do it in various creative ways.

If you work outside the home and have a longing to come back home to be with your children and really be a helpmeet to your husband, pray, pray, pray.  God will meet you according to your faith.  He is Faithful.

Do you have fears or concerns? 

If you have creative ideas to share I would love to create a community where we help each other generate sources of income to bless our family and others.

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The Home As A Lighthouse - Part 7

 

The home is to be a place where we shine as lights in the world (Philippians 2:15).  This world needs to see God’s goodness in our families.  Friends, relatives and neighbors are watching and waiting to see what a home in Christ really is.  A great challenge we have before us is in Acts 2:46 where the early church believers gather together to share their lives, food and learn more of the Savior.  These homes were full of thankfulness and generosity.  One way we can teach thankfulness to our children is always around the meal table.  It may be like a meaningless routine to say grace before eating.  But it is up to us how we do it.  I make it very clear that we are fed by God’s gracious hand.  Food on our table is a gift from God and it is just plain rude to eat without saying thanks.  Just by this simple act of gratitude wherever we are, we are shining our light.   We also make it a joyful time by singing our thanksgiving to God before we eat.



Wherever we go, we try to stay together as a family.  You will be surprised what an impact this is to many, even Christians.  Many have come to us and told us that they were blessed just by watching our family and how we interact with one another.  Then I try to be more conscious and careful of my actions and attitude.

A farmer at farmer’s market, finally approached my and said, “you know, I am getting married in two weeks and I wanted to ask you for advise on how to raise my children because I have been observing every week your kids and they are very obedient.  How do you teach them?  I like children and I look forward in having my own someday?”  Wow!  First of all, I commended him for liking children.  This is very, very unusual.  Almost all the comments I get weekly as I am out with my children are that children are a burden.  Sure they are “cute” but only one or two of them and that was enough.  I also let the gentleman know that my children are just as any other children, sinful by nature, but we teach them what God requires of them.  They only way to godly parenting is through Christ and by His grace only.

One way we can be a lighthouse is by prayer walking our neighborhood.  Simply pray with your children for your neighbors.  You will be surprised how the Lord opens opportunities to share His goodness with others.

Here is a great tool if you want to connect with others praying in for your neighborhood: http://www.transformourworld.org/en/adopt

 

How do you cultivate a spirit of gratitude in your home so it can shine with joy?

The Home - Part 8

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The Home: A Center For Discipleship - Part 6

 

When we gather as a family to brainstorm for ideas to do or make for others, our mission is always before us.  Christ charged us with the Great Commission, “Go ye and make disciples of all nations…”   Therefore, everything we decide to make and do has that in mind, “to make disciples”.  That is the purpose of this site, too.  In the home, we focus on discipleling our children as they also watch us, parents, how we try to imitate Christ and be His disciples.  This aspect of the home is so critical.  It is parenting by intent rather than by default.

Parenting by default is also parenting but with no purpose or vision, just let life go by and do what you have to do to survive.  You know, sleep, eat, go to school, get a job, get married and have kids so they can go to school and continue the cycle.  Parenting by intent is having a purpose.  Our purpose for every Christian home should be to point our children to the Savior so they can have their personal relationship with Him.  Jesus commands us to let the children come to Him.  Wow to us is we are stumbling blocks for our children to come to Him.  The way we present the Gospel, our prayer life and even the way we read His Word will communicate a love for God or religion.

The home is the place where children meet and encounter God.  It is a place of Evangelism.  It is not Sunday school, youth group or children’s church.  It is the home.  The home needs to be supplying the church with the leaders, pastors, teachers, evangelists, apostles and prophets.

How do we parent intentionally?

The answer is very simple:  Just being with your children.  As Deuteronomy 6:4-6 teaches us, when you rise up, when you sit down, when you walk by the way, and when you lie down.  Everyday, there are many opportunities to disciple our children in the ways of the Lord, which is the way they should go.

I have mothers coming to me asking me to have play dates with them so their children homeschooled or toddlers can grow in their social skills.  I do like to get together with other moms who are homeschooling or have little children.  But, I am also always concerned because small children tend to learn from each other’s sinful natures.  Parents misunderstand that their children don’t need other children their age to learn social skills.  On the contrary, children need to be with older adults or mature older children who can teach them good social skills.  What is a three year-old going to learn from another three year old?  Proverbs 13:20 says, “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.”

Some ways we disciple our children in a day to day basis is by simply pointing out what the Word of God says about issues that come up or about His Creation as we talk a walk.  When they disobey, I instruct the what God requires from them, to obey their parents.  When they are unkind to one another, I remind them over and over that Jesus commanded us to love one another.  As we study History, we draw lessons from His dealings with man.  As we study God’s Creation, we marvel at such powerful designs in plants, animals and the entire physical world.

Jesus certainly demonstrated it to us when he chose his twelve disciples.  They pretty much lived together.  They saw Him pray, eat, love, teach.  The disciples turned around and did the same.  It is my prayer that my children will do the same and even go beyond what we teach them.

How do you disciple your children?  How have your children encountered God in your home?

The Home - Part 7

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A Book List For Girls

You've heard the saying, "Readers Are Leaders"

I love reading!  I like collecting books, I am not sure I will have the time to read them all but I make the excuse that my children will read them.  It makes me feel good to be surrounded by books.  Reading is an excellent way to raise godly children.  Of course, you have to be very selective on what they read.  Reading is like feeding the soul, make sure it is nutritious literature for a healthy mind.  Books have make great impact in my life and in the lives of my children.  Cultivate a love for reading by reading aloud to them everyday.

Having our daughters read is essential to their development as women of godly character.  It is part of their training.  They can learn so much about godliness, homemaking, history, science, government, music,  theology, exceptional people in history, economics and so forth.  They will need to learn a variety of subjects to help their future husbands in whatever His calling is and in teaching their own children.

 

A strategy I began with my first daughter was to read aloud as many books as possible.  Then my next daughter joined in the "children's hour".   My goal was to know what the books were about so I can assign them in the future to my other children and I know exactly what they are reading and we will be able to discuss it.  Now my older daughter is rereading the books I read to her three years ago and making lapbooks as book reports.

Some books that have a different worldview are great for sharpening the discernment in the girls.  I remember reading Little Women.  We critiqued it all the way through noting the feminism message in the story.  But we don't read or have any romance books, or the so called "Christian romance novels."

Here is a list that we have already read and have in line to read.  I will keep adding to this list as more books come our way.

• 
  

  The Bible

  
  


• 
  

  Raising Maidens of Virtue- Stacy McDonald

  
  


• 
  

  Polished Cornerstones-Doorposts

  
  


• 
  

  Mary of Plymouth

  
  


• 
  

  The Seven Stout Hearted Orphaned

  
  


• 
  

  The Fruit of the Spirit Series

  
  


• 
  

  Queen of the Home

  
  


• 
  

  The Three Weavers

  
  


• 
  

  Teddy's Button

  
  


• 
  

  Jessica's First Prayer

  
  


• 
  

  A Peep Behind The Scenes

  
  


• 
  

  Titus A Comrade Of The Faith

  
  


• 
  

  Mary Jones And Her Bible

  
  


• 
  

  A Basket Of Flowers

  
  


• 
  

  Beautiful Girlhood-Mabel Hale

  
  


• 
  

  The Golden Gems of Life-SC Ferguson

  
  


• 
  

  Hinds Feet On High Places

  
  


• 
  

  Life of Faith Series

  
  


• 
  

  Elsie Dinsmore Series

  
  


• 
  

  Above Rubies Magazines by Nancy Campbell

  
  


• 
  

  Bible Doctrine/Theology

  
  


• 
  

  Stepping Heavenward-Elizabeth Prentiss

  
  


• 
  

  For Instruction in Righteousness-Doorposts

  
  


• 
  

  Christian Character-Gary Maldaner

  
  


• 
  

  Books on Christian Missionaries-various authors

  
  


• 
  

  A Little Maid Series by by Alice Turner Curtis

  
  


• 
  

  The Hopechest-Rebekah Wilson

  
  


• 
  

  Joyfully At Home

  
  


• 
  

  Homemaking/The Family and anything by JR Miller

  
  


• 
  

  Keepers at Home – Keepers of Faith

  
  


• 
  

  Foxes Book of Martyrs

  
  


• 
  

  Voice of the Martyrs Magazine

  
  


• 
  

  World Magazine

  
  


• 
  

  Creation Magazine

  
  


• 
  

  The Genesis Flood

  
  


• 
  

  Princess Adelina

  
  


• 
  

  Passionate Housewives Desperate for God-Jennie Chancey and Stacy McDonald

  
  


• 
  

  The Courtship of Sarah McLean-Castleberry Farms Press

  
  


• 
  

  Jeff McLean: His Courtship-Castleberry Farms Press

  
  


• 
  

  Do Hard Things-Alex and Brett Harris

  
  


• 
  

  Start Here-Alex and Brett Harris

  
  


• 
  

  Before You Meet Prince Charming-Sarah Malley

  
  


• 
  

  I Kissed Dating Good-Bye-Joshua Harris

  
  


• 
  

  The Princess and the Kiss by Jennie Bishop

  
  


• 
  

  Noble Womanhood–Pearables 19th century writing

  
  


• 
  

  Little House on the Prairie Series

  
  


• 
  

  Daughters of Destiny-Noelle Goforth

  
  


• 
  

  The Kings Daughter and other Choice Stories

  
  


• 
  

  Mother-Kathleen Norris

  
  


• 
  

  Making Brothers and Sisters Best Friends-Sarah Malley

  
  


• 
  

  Ten P’s in a Pod-A. Pent

  
  


• 
  

  What He Must Be-If He Wants to Marry My Daughter-Voddie Baucham

  
  


• 
  

  The Excellent Wife-Martha Peace

  
  


• 
  

  Training Our Daughters to Be Keepers At Home-Ann Ward

  
  


• 
  

  Social Graces- Anne Platz

  
  


• 
  

  Rod and Staff Readers–Amish readers

  
  


• 
  

  The Moody Series- Sarah Maxwell

  
  


• 
  

  Choice Stories for Children-Ernest Lloyd

  
  


• 
  

  The Little Boy Down the Road- Doug Phillips

  
  


• 
  

  The Kathleen McKenzie Series

  
  


• 
  

  G.A. Henty Books–historical books for boys but also good for girls

  
  


• 
  

  My Mommy, My Teacher-Johannah Bluedorn

  
  


• 
  

  Christian Charm Course-Emily Hunter

  
  


• 
  

  Heidi - good for discussion too as it contains magical ideas

  
  


• 
  

  Little Women - good for discussion about feminism

  
  


• 
  

  Daughters of the Faith Series

  
  


• 
  

  It's Not That Complicated

  
  


• 
  

  So Much More

  
  

 

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The Home, A Garden To Grow - Part 5

3.  The Home, A garden to grow

The model we see in Deuteronomy 6:4-6 is that disciple-making goes on continuously throughout the day.  This is a great challenge!  We, as mothers ought to diligently assist our husbands in the training up of our children.

We must dedicate our day to this aspect of our home.  It is extremely important because if we neglect it, our children, church and society will suffer huge setbacks.

Our children’s hearts are like a garden.  This spring we have a garden going on which we have to tend to everyday.  We have to water it, check for weeds, protect it from predators and prune it when the time comes.  Our children too grow and need the tender nurture that only a mother can give.  We are with them most of the time.  We see the “weeds” springing up.  We take note, pray about it and pluck them out.  Those grow naturally;  it’s the sinful nature.  Proverbs commands us to diligently discipline our children (Proverbs 13:24).

Having a multigenerational vision will help us see even past our children but great grandchildren.  We want to grow a solid family legacy that will flourish in this world with the love of God.  For this, it will take diligent vigilance.  Remember that the weeds grow naturally and can choke up a beautiful plant.
When I see a mature tree that is crooked.  I like to point it out to my children and tell them,  “Do you see that tree over there?  Why do you think it just grew like that, sideways, instead of straight up to be tall and provide shade or good fruit without breaking?”  They would answer,  “It was not disciplined with the rod.”  “That’s right”, I would affirm and point to a small tree that is growing with rods tied to it so it can grow straight.  “How do you think this tree will grow?”  I ask, “Straight,  they answer.  “That’s is with us, God has to discipline us and help us through His Spirit to grow straight into His Likeness, not crooked looking like the world.”


Just this task of the home alone takes daily full attention to all your children’s hearts.   I confess, that I am nervous at times when someone wants to take my children or want them to visit.  One exposure to the world’s ways, can defile a child’s innocent mind and undermine all the work I’ve tried to cultivate for years.  I take my job very seriously before God.  That is why I don’t desire more a “Mom’s day off” from my children, as much

as a “Mom’s day off” from household duties, so I can free up more time to tend to the hearts of my children.

There is a big deception in many women who think that caring for your children at home is full of mundane activity.  This is not true.  I have even come to like washing dishes, because my precious five-year-old is

so excited to do it with me.  I take this opportunity to bind her heart to mine, and disciple her to Christ likeness.  It is when I see my daughter struggling, giving up, on a task, that I am right beside her encouraging her and reminding her of God's promises.  Of course there are chores I detest, but as I properly align my heart to His Word, I begin to thank Him for all these dishes that need to be put away or all these laundry that needs to be done.  I can’t imagine life without these children or my husband.  How sad it would be if I didn’t have dishes or clothes to clean for them.  And the more the merrier life is!



This careful tending of our children’s hearts can only be done by mother.  Even father’s role is different.  He will lead the whole family in taking dominion.  He is not so in tune with the day-to-day growth of the children because he doesn’t spend as much time with them as Mom does.  But his role is extremely important, so much so that family is dysfunctional without him.   We have a fatherless society, a broken down society.  Fathers who have abandoned their families physically or psychologically.  Yes, there are parents who have switched the responsibility of the growth of their children to school teachers, youth group pastors or Sunday school teachers, who will never be wiling or able to daily pray for them, weed them, discipline then, nurture them so they can grow into men and women of noble character.

At the same time as we devote our lives to cultivate a heart of wisdom in our children, our hearts are also growing into His likeness.  I can say, I am more patient and selfless, thanks to God who gave me these children to mold me in these areas.  My marriage is the primary plant to focus on making sure it is not drying up.  It takes more time and commitment to serve and help my husband.  This is our priority from which the rest overflow.  If we don’t tend to the garden of our home daily with sacrificial love, intentional parenting, and service, we will have a home that resembles the sluggards, full of thorns and weeds.  Our children, to my shame or careful teaching of Proverbs, are quick to point out when they see a front yard that is dry, dirty, full of weeds, thorns and thistles.  “Look, those people are like the sluggard.”

Let’s tend to our hearts, our children’s and our husbands’ with careful and faithful labor so we can grow healthy, and fruitful homes.

What is the state of your garden?  What are your favorite things to do to make it flourish?

The Home - part 6

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Baby Potty Training And Cloth Diapers

Potty Training my Babies Ever since my first baby, I've always used cloth diapers.  My last set of cloth diapers were used for 6 years straight.  They were still very good.  I actually passed them on to another baby to use.  Yes, I saved a lot.  I didn't even had the expensive kinds that are available now.  But I used mainly simple prefolds that costed me $1 dollar each. Cloth diapers helped me potty trained Danielle because she didn't like the wet feeling.  She was easy to train.  From one day to the other, as she was turning two, she got it.  Destiny on the other hand was potty trained as a baby at 9 months.  I started out training her at 8 months old and it only took her a month to understand.  She couldn't walk yet, but she would crawl to her little potty and I would sit her down.  I probably changed 4-5 more soiled diapers since she turned 9 months old. Therefore, when Noah came, I wanted to do the same.  But, life got busier.  My schedule was more demanding and I didn't have the time to continue.  He would have gotten it too.  I started again at 8 months and he was doing beautifully.  In a couple of months he was being consistent and would hold it until I took him.  Then, when he turned 18 months, Dad said, "this little boy needs to be potty trained".  That was a comment after changing a bad soiled diaper.  So we trained him. He was trained by 22 months old. Liberty is turning 8 months old.  I have started training her.  She is doing great so far.  We will see how I do.  The babies will get it.  But it requires a team effort.  Sometimes the other side of the team, which is Mom, is not up to it.  In my case, it's because I don't have the time to be persistent.  And that's ok.  I do what I can.  My goal is to be completely diaper free by age two. Here is some information of why to cloth diaper and why to train a Baby.  Simply put is because they are trainable, which is contrary to mainstream belief that they don't have the physiological ability to control it.

The idea of cloth diapers dredges up unpleasant visions for some--pokey pins, leaks and other unmentionables. Believe it or not, cloth diapers have made a dramatic turn for the better over the last few years. No more pins to prink your fingers, fewer leaks, and no more toilet dunking. This happy news will soften the blow of discovering some of the dangers of disposable diapers. Not only do babies adorned in cloth tend to potty train earlier than those in disposables, there are some health and environmental risks to ponder. Luckily, you have a choice! Why Choose Cloth over Disposable Back in the 1950s, nearly every little tyke in the U.S. wore cloth diapers. Proctor & Gamble changed that statistic dramatically by introducing Pampers, a one-time use, throw-away diaper, in the early 1960s. Today, a vast majority of babies wear disposables. On average, babies use about seven disposable diapers per day,1 a number that varies with age and frequency of changes. This can mean up to 8,000 diapers per baby for their diapering phase of life. When deciding between cloth or disposables, one should consider the following three areas: environmental burden, chemical exposure for the family and financial impact. Environmental Concerns Both disposable and cloth diapers have their environmental costs. The question is, which is higher? First, disposables place a burden on the environment through manufactured materials (often synthetic). The plastic in disposables takes an extended time to break down. There are different estimates as to how long, but it is more than several lifetimes. With the billions upon billions of disposable diapers thrown into landfills every year, any estimate gives a bad result, regardless of how you look at it. The second issue is waste management with the viruses and other contaminants from untreated feces and urine that may find their way into our soils and community water supplies.2 Although this scenario has not been clearly established as a current problem, the possibilities are real. Have you ever read the back of the box for disposables? When you do, you will find a statement that baby soil should be put into the toilet before the diaper is disposed of in the garbage. Human waste is not meant to be in landfills, but when was the last time you tossed the contents of a disposable diaper into the toilet? This is a practice thought to be only necessary for cloth, but in fact should be done with both. For cloth diapers, water usage, energy cost, the cost of detergent, and chemicals emitted from detergent are issues to be considered. Washing cloth diapers certainly uses more water than dumping a disposable diaper in the trash, but one must look at all the sides. For instance, newer washing machines are more water efficient. Moreover, some argue that washing diapers twice per week uses less water than an adult uses in a day of flushing the toilet. Finally, the chemical intake from detergents is moot if you use environmentally safe detergents. Chemical Exposure Numerous chemicals are emitted from commercial disposables, such as those from the polypropylene liner and polyethylene backing.3 In fact, scientists have discovered that the chemicals in disposables, when inhaled, are toxic to the respiratory system. Although studied on mice, the response was clear and the researchers concluded that diapers should be considered as one of the factors that might cause or exacerbate asthmatic conditions.4 Disposable diapers contain bleached materials. Although the U.S. paper mill industry has made improvements to reduce toxic waste output over the last few years, concerns remain surrounding this process. Ultimately the manufacture of diapers with bleached products puts all humans and animal at higher risk for health damages.5,6,7We would all do well to avoid these hazardous chemicals. Although there is no specific scientific link between diapers and the aforementioned conditions, the manufacturing of diapers with bleached products puts all humans and animals at a higher risk in general. We would all do well to avoid these hazardous chemicals. Moreover, could dioxins still remain in the diaper itself, thus exposing your baby and family to them more directly? Possibly, but this is not something supported by scientific study. Even more worrisome are the super-absorbent diapers, which often contain cross-linked sodium polyacrylate, a powder that turns to a gel in contact with liquid. This is the same substance associated with toxic shock syndrome from ultra-absorbent feminine hygiene tampons.1 Although negative health symptoms have not been directly linked in the case of diapers, these types of chemicals are just better to avoid, especially when they are in products in close contact with such sensitive areas of the body. There are more environmentally friendly disposable diaper manufacturers that do not use chlorine in the bleaching process (such as the maker of "Tushies"). Although they are more expensive than conventional disposables, using these products reduces the health concerns posed by chlorine and its toxic byproducts. Convenience Although disposables are convenient, cloth diapers are running a close second with new product designs. The act of putting on the diapers is quite similar. For example, velcro wraps close in the cloth diaper and are simply washed with the diapers when wet or soiled. All-in-one diapers skip the cloth diaper insert step and have the cloth sewn inside and the wrap outside, acting like a disposable but washing like a cloth. Cloth diapers do not need to be presoaked or even rinsed off, as many people believe. If unrinsed diapers are not appealing, an option is flushable liners that are just lifted off and flushed down the toilet. When planned right, cloth diapers should add only two more loads of laundry per week. There is also the option of a diaper service, which through economy of scale uses less energy and water per diaper than home washing. However, diapers are shared with other members and the service may not use detergents you find acceptable. What about when you are out and about or traveling? Unless you are a stickler when it comes to using cloth, these are fine times to use disposables. But for those hardcore cloth users out there, nylon tote bags are an easy solution. They cinch up, close in the smells, and can be thrown in the laundry right along with the diapers at home. Potty Training Disposable diaper companies try to have the "dryness" competitive edge. Have you thought of what that really means? Although the super-absorbent diapers hold more than cloth, utilizing them may not be the best approach. This idea of "super absorbency" leads to several problems. First, some babies are left too long in diapers. They are still being exposed to their own eliminations, in essence allowing a diaper to become a traveling toilet. Second, feeling wet can be a good thing when it comes to learning how to use the big-person toilet. It is believed when children actually feel they are wet, they can better grasp the concept of potty-training. Diapering a child for only a year and a half to two years instead of three or more offers additional financial savings and further reduces environmental burdens. Moreover, optimizing brain development with adequate fats and nutrients through a nourishing traditional diet may further facilitate training. An idea that may sound foreign to many of us, but natural to those in numerous other cultures, is infant potty training. The basic concept is that infants are aware of and can control their eliminative needs and are able to learn at an early age to go on cue. Parents can communicate with their babies by learning their signals and rhythms and make the toilet or chosen "potty" available when needed, thus eliminating or at least reducing the need for diapers. Our affluent, on-the-go society of today makes this a little challenging, but it is an appealing idea that parents may want to explore through books such as Laurie Boucke's Infant Potty Training, and informational websites such as the nonprofit organization Diaper-Free Baby, at www.diaperfreebaby.org. Summing up, diapering decisions are a personal family choice, and all the factors need to be evaluated. Some babies do better with one diapering method over another--there is no one best type for every baby. One's lifestyle, personal preferences, finances, available time and concern for environmental issues play a role in these decisions. Regardless, being well-informed is half the battle in making the right choice for you and your baby. Personally, cloth feels good to me, my son, and family compared to the paper and plastic products. I feel that cloth, although it means a bit more effort on my part, is gentler on my baby, family, pocket book and the environment! Although we don't use cloth all the time, we do the best we can as often as we can! My Product List Take a trip to any cloth diaper website and you will be inundated with more choices that you know what to do with in regard to diaper covers, wraps, inserts and the like. Here is what worked for me and my little guy, Tate, and the "what, why and how" of it all. I purchased unbleached, cotton prefolded diapers in both infant and regular sizes. These are layered so that the middle part is the thickest. I have seen these varieties only on-line, not in regular stores. I surfed the internet for the best price and bought in bulk. At night or for naps there are extra pads called doublers that can be used to give added absorbency; the smaller infant size can be folded and used in the same way. I purchased Bummis' Super Whisper Wraps™. These are sturdy waterproof wraps that go over the diaper and take the place of pins and cheap plastic pants and can withstand the rigors of washing. They come in different sizes and patterns and indicate the weight they fit best. I bought approximately four of each size (I found a few at yard sales), since they sometimes get wet or a little soiled and need to be washed. Another great investment is reusable cotton flannel baby wipes. They are basically little square pieces of cloth with trim around the edges to keep them from fraying. The commercial one-time-use brands are very harsh on baby's bottom and expensive! After the cloth ones are used, they go right into the diaper pail along with the diapers to be washed. As far as diaper disposal goes, I purchased two plastic draw-string pail liners on-line and a diaper pail from a local Wal-Mart. The pail is a simple trash can that has a button on one end that when pressed opens the lid. This comes in handy when only one hand, or finger, is free. The liner fits well inside and is pulled out and washed right along with the diapers and wipes. When one liner is washing, the other is ready to be placed into the pail. I find the pail stays relatively dry and odor-free; I clean it out about once a month. My Day-to-Day Diaper Routine Instructions for diaper folding and placing can be found on numerous websites and in baby care books. It becomes second nature once you do a few. For storing wipes, I found a round plastic container with an easy lift-off lid. I make my own wipe solution (see side bar Wonderful Wipes), which is very gentle and healing to a baby's bum. I make a new batch once or twice a week. When I first started, I measured everything out, now I just pour, squirt and stir--it takes all of two minutes. Tate loves to help, too! Just throw wet diapers right into your lined pail. For poopy diapers, get as much of the poop into the toilet as possible. For stubborn poop that does not easily roll off on its own, I came up with a little device called a "pooh-tula." This is a regular spatula solely dedicated to the use of scraping off diaper messes into the toilet. Just wipe the "pooh-tula" off on a clean part of the diaper when you are through and it is ready to be placed in its special out-of–the-way location for the next use. There are little nozzles on the market that attach to the toilet to rinse off the diapers as well, but I found my own method to work just fine. Will your hand sometimes come into contact with the poop? Sure, but that is life with a baby! When your diaper pail is getting full or you are starting to run out of diapers, it is time to wash. The easiest method is the double, cold-then-hot wash. Dump everything into the washing machine--the diapers, wipes, dirty wraps, tote, and pail liner (turned inside out to wash the side touching the diapers). I never even touch the diapers on their way into the washer since I am turning the pail liner inside out and using my hand on the clean side to move things around in the washer. Wash the load in cold for the first run to get everything off. Once done, do the same load in hot; this gives the diapers a deepdown cleaning. I use a natural detergent with each load and a fabric softener occasionally in the second. A little baking soda can also help remove odors. My diapers have a few stains, but they always smell fresh coming out of the dryer. A fun and energy-efficient idea is to hang the diapers out in the sun and wind to dry. Sunlight is a natural disinfectant and bleaching agent, and being outdoors with your toes in the grass can be quite invigorating.Regardless of what you do with the diapers, air-dry the pail liner and the wraps. Although the wraps can go into the dryer, air drying can help extend their life. If not hanging the diapers, throw them into the dryer and fold to get them ready for their next "job." Folding is another Mom-and-Tate activity we enjoy together. There you have it, a simple way to diaper your baby in cloth! Although there are many choices in the cloth diapering world, this is what worked for my family and may for yours too. I hope at least I have eased any unpleasant concerns about using this more natural diapering choice. Not that it is the best way for everyone, but it is an option that is much easier than most people think. Sending you happy diapering wishes! Sidebars Financial Investment Arguments ensue regarding whether disposable or cloth diapers are more of a financial strain on the family budget. The money spent on disposables and wipes is cut and dried, with ranges depending on preferred brands. Cloth gets a little fuzzier. Costs for electricity to heat the water and run the dryer vary; laundry detergent and depreciation of laundry equipment may be additional considerations. With the high-tech varieties of cloth diapers available, someone can pay as much as $15 or more per diaper. However, if you stick with the less fancy products, the cost is actually quite reasonable. Here is my personal financial breakdown (see My Product List below for details on these products). Diapers (two dozen infant and four dozen regular) $400; wraps (four of each small, medium, and large) $108; doublers (6) $10; wipes (60) $35; diaper pail $15; two diaper pail liners $30; extras (e.g., changing pads) $30. Grand total = $520. On a personal note, I purchased more regular sized diapers than I eventually found necessary. I would recommend two to three dozen instead of four unless you have more than one child in diapers. Having multiple children use the same diapers also significantly cuts costs. Furthermore, products can be purchased and sold through the community or on the internet to save money. When I started purchasing my diaper stash, previously used products were selling for almost as much as new, so I chose to buy new. (I also hear that, when your diapering days are over, diapers make fantastic house rags!) The cost of disposable diapers averages around 20 cents apiece. The price can be even higher if more natural products are used. Let's calculate, using the average of seven diapers a day at 20 cents each: $1.40 per day, $9.80 per week, $39.20 per month, and $470.40 per year. The low end age for potty training is two and a half years, for an estimated grand total of $1176 spent on one child! Using the more environmentally-friendly diapers, which run as high as 50 cents a pop, makes the total closer to $3000! Wowzers! Wonderful Wipes To make the wipe solution, use approximately two cups water and approximately two tablespoons each of aloe gel, body oil (Burt's Bees Apricot Baby oil smells fabulous), and a chemical-free liquid shampoo or soap (I use the same clean body soap the rest of the family uses). Mix this together and then keep adding wipes until all the liquid is absorbed and they are damp, but not dripping wet. We find what works best is, before performing a diaper change, get a few wipes unfolded and ready for duty. Then there is little risk of being in an unpleasant situation trying to unfold a wet wipe with one hand! Yes, We Had No Pampers According to Contemporary Pediatrics, over 50 percent of the world's children are toilet trained between six months and one year of age, and 80 percent by one to two years, with 18 months as the average. This trend was also true in the United States prior to the mid 1950s when disposable diapers were introduced. However it is now only in the US and other "disposable diaper" nations that toilet training is delayed to 36 or 48 months. After all, many societies don't even need to use diapers. Just out of curiosity, I called a friend who would be able to tell me firsthand about toilet training children in Russia, one of those places where diapers (cloth or disposable) did not exist until very recently. Marina is in her late 60s, now living in Nova Scotia and not long ago widowed. She and her husband were Moscow dissidents and raised their two boys there before immigrating to Canada several decades ago. Marina seemed pleased to talk about this topic with me--it brought back happy memories of her husband, Yuri. She surprised me by telling me that it was Yuri who had trained their boys! When their first son Grisha was born, Yuri (almost immediately after birth) would position Grisha by the tap and run a stream of water while making "psss, psss, psss" noises. Marina pointed out that boys' apparatus rather resembles indoor plumbing parts and therefore thought it might be easier for boys to grasp the notion. Grisha very soon did. "You know how easy it is to train kittens?" Marina asked me. "Well, children are much smarter than kittens. Much more clever. And they are happy to learn to do this--it makes them very proud!" She went on to explain that you do not bother the child at night, but in the morning you demonstrate the process again if the swaddling cloth is not dry. Never scold, never punish, but only praise the desired behavior, she emphasized. Always forgive "mistakes." As for the other eliminative process, you let them view the right place with the right action having been performed. Again, they catch on very quickly. At four months, they are most of the way there and by eight months they have completely grasped the idea. Certainly by a year, there are no more wet underclothes. When Grisha was three-and-one-half years old, his brother Yasha was born. Again, Yuri began the training soon after birth. Grisha, who was very excited to have a brother, wanted to help with demonstrating as well, and so Yasha learned even faster than his older brother. Marina saw that this early self-mastery helped build the child's character and sense of confidence and responsibility. Grisha, she said, has always been a very caring person, and toilet trained all four of his own children in the same manner, right there in Canada. "Children in diapers at three or older!" she suddenly exclaimed, commenting on the contemporary scene around her. "Disgusting! Shameful! And such a waste of unnecessary products, such pollution." Sometimes, Marina continued, a child may be stubborn. In their communal apartment in Moscow was a single mother with her son, Lyovochka. Her mother, the grandmother, also lived with them. Everyone knew when Lyovochka had soiled his underwear because his mother would lock him in the toilet with the light off to punish him and Lyovochka would howl. Lyovochka's grandmother was a communist party member, an old-guard revolutionary. One day she came to Yuri and pleaded with him, "Please tell me why your son is toilet trained and my grandson is not and they are almost the same age?" Yuri had an impish sense of humor. "Maria Isaakievna," he replied, "It is obvious. My son was born on December 25th, the birthday of Jesus Christ. Your grandson was born on May 5th, the birthday of Karl Marx!" --Katherine Czapp References Disposable Diapers. Consumer Reports. August 1987, pp. 510-512. Smith, Joyce A. and Pitts, Norma. The Diaper Decision - Not A Clear Issue. Ohio State University Extension Fact Sheet. Found at http://www.mindfully.org/Plastic/Diaper-Not-Clear.htm on March 20, 2006. Consumer Choices. The Diaper Dilemma. Iowa State University. Ames, Iowa. September 1994. Found athttp://www.rockwellcollins.com/daycare/pdf/pm1401.pdf on March 20, 2006. Anderson RC, Anderson JH. Acute respiratory effects of diaper emissions. Arch Environ Health. 1999 Sep-Oct;54(5):353-8. Healing the Harm:  Eliminating the Pollution from Health Care Practices, Health Care Without Harm Campaign Report, 1997. Risk Characterization of Dioxin and Related Compounds, Draft Scientific Reassessment of Dioxin. United States Environmental Protection Agency (U.S. EPA). Washington, D.C.: Bureau of National Affairs, May 3, 1994. DeVito, Michael et al. Comparisons of Estimated Human Body Burdens of Dioxin-like Chemicals and TCDD Body Burdens in Experimentally Exposed Animals, Economic Analysis of the Proposed California Water Quality Toxics Rule, U.S. EPA, 1997. Pp. 820-831. Martel, PH; Kovacs, TG; O'Connor, BI; Voss, RH. Survey of pulp and paper mill effluents for their potential to induce mixed function oxidase enzyme activity in fish.79th Annual Meeting of the Canadian Pulp and Paper Assn, Montreal, Que.,Canada, 01/26-27/93; pp.A165-177, 1993 This article appeared in Wise Traditions in Food, Farming and the Healing Arts, the quarterly magazine of the Weston A. Price Foundation, Summer 2006.

 

 

 

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