A Woman is: Of A Quiet Spirit

Take the test if you are of a "quiet spirit" as in 1 Peter 3:4.  This character quality is related to a husband/wife relationship.  We can also be quiet outside and angrily loud in our hearts.  Here is example of what I mean shared by generation cedar:

You are walking through your house (bedroom, living room..), and your husband’s clothes and shoes are, let's just say, "misplaced"–a usual scene. Do you:

1.  Throw them all in a corner and “show him” what happens if he doesn’t pick up after himself?

2.  Pick them up grumbling as you put them away?

3.  Dwell on all the things he does for you that he doesn’t have to, and consider it a blessing to be able to serve him in such a small way? Proceed to fold/hang his clean clothes as neatly as possible for an “extra blessing”?

I know, we’ve all reacted the wrong way. I have many times.  The grumbling begins and I confess that I dwell on number 3 and gladly pick up my husbands shoes and clothes!    The same applies to chores I detest like washing dishes.  There was a time that I liked, or didn't mind, washing dishes.  But now with no dishwasher and or regular sink.  I find it a little "challenge".  I thank God I don't have to gather water from the river, well, and that I have hot water.  I thank God that I have a family that I love and uses these dishes.  I thank God for the laundry I fold with my daughters because they are for the precious family He has given me to love.

This quiet spirit will actually make us beautiful. That's right! more than make up and a stylish up-do.  The Bible says that it is an ornament.  A beautiful wife makes a husband happy and thus a happy marriage.  I bet you haven't heard this formula in the secular advises for a happy marriage.  We can be by God's grace a beautiful ornament for our  homes.

 

 

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True Femininity

 

There is an idea that being feminine is all about soft velvet hands thanks to a high end hand lotion.  On top of that, you may add the long fake nails--are those things still around?-- and make up galore.   Or, many would resort to flowery wall paper, frills all around the house, pink carpet and doors.  I am serious, I have been in houses like these.  But is that truly being a feminine woman.

A housewife may refrain from doing any "heavy duty" work that's to be done around the house.  I know some wives who won't take the trash out or wash the car because, "that's my husband's job", they would say.  Others say, "it's your turn to change the baby", "give me a break".  I have also met others who make their husbands cook for them.   I've even heard women making their poor husbands who come home from a stressful day at work take over the baby and change diapers.  A patient, loving Dad and husband would comply willingly to all these requests thinking it is only his fair share.

Since my husband has had a home business for a few years now.  Women tell me, "Oh, that's nice, he helps you with the kids and around the house."  Well, actually, No.  He doesn't help me.  I help him!  This involves everything, from cooking, to teaching the children, to keeping the home.  This is his family I have been called to help him educate, raise, train, and feed.

I certainly appreciate when my husband helps me willingly and very naturally, but don't expect him to.  With our four children, my husband is not hesitant to help feed one mouth when I'm feeding another for example.  I am learning to be careful that I help him more than he helps me.  When he is home, I want it to be a pleasant atmosphere of rest, peace and joy.  Especially, as men carry the  responsibility of guiding and sustaining the family.  I have seen the burden and I am glad I am not in his shoes. Thus, I'm extra careful he is not burdened by the mundaness of the home.  I want home to be inspiring, good food, worship, joyful children, loving wife.  I try to learn how to fix things around the home the way he fixes things, so we can spend more time together.

Women in the past worked the fields, washed in the rivers, made many things from scratch and loved their husbands and children.  Many of them hugged and caressed their loved ones with hard working rough hands full of love.  That is being feminine: helping our husbands in whatever he needs us to do to carry out God's call on his life.

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Princess Adelina

I gave this book as a 7th year birthday to my daughter.  When we started reading it, she didn't let me put it down into the late nights.  We both were hooked and couldn't put it down.

Very few books are worthy of our time nowadays.  This book is non-fiction, we learned good history and woman Christian virtue.  It helped her as a daughter and me as a wife.  Adelina is truly a shining example, a perfect role model for all of us ladies and maidens of today.    We have been captivated for days meditating on her virtues, character, bravery, strength, humility, love for God, righteousness, faithfulness and the list goes one.  Even as young as 17 years old, as she is introduced in the book.  I have learned a lot from her humility and commitment to God, seeking not her own interests but the interests of others.  Adelina, as a wife of a Pagan ruler, she strongly lives out the words of  Peter of living in submission to an unbelieving husband.  She beautifully displays a woman of noble character as protrayed in Proverbs 31.   She truly opens her mouth with wisdom and the law of kindness is in her mouth.

A must read for every maiden.  As a mother and daughter read was very sweet.  My daughter prepared to act out scenes, to recreate the story during play.  As a homeschool project, we've created a compare and contrast between Adelina and Geila.  And one day she wishes to make a movie.

To purchase, click here or on the vision forum icon on the right.

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Exposing The Lies

Posted By Mrs. June Fuentes on September 15, 2010

I want to get straight to the heart of the issue and expose some of the many and greatest lies of feminism. As you read through this list, honestly ask yourself which of these lies you may have believed in the past or present in some form or another.

Shall we begin?

1. I have my rights.

2. I can have it all.

3. I should not have to live with unfulfilled longings.

4. A career outside the home is more valuable and fulfilling than being a wife and mother.

5. It’s all about me.

6. If my husband is passive I need to lead.

7. If I submit, I’ll be miserable.

8. I have to have ________ to make me happy.

9. Children are a hindrance and a burden.

10. Women are smarter than men.

These are only 10 lies that I have chosen that I think are the most common in our culture, and whether they fall under the categories of worldly, fleshly or feminist, these seem to be the ones women seem to fall prey to most frequently. These lies are most dangerous as many of them seek to weaken the family unit in one way or another (a form of Marxism). It takes the focus of of living a life for God and doing all we can for His glory and instead creates false idols that we worship secretly. These lies keep us from living out full lives as God intended and how He designed us to be. Lies hinders us from receiving God’s best. Lies keeps us miserable, unsatisfied and always longing for more—while God’s ways are focused on joy of the Lord, satisfaction in the Cross and contentment for His grace is sufficient.

I know that growing up I was exposed to a barrage feminism in schools, books, television, magazines, movies, music, peers, billboards, role models, etc. It was rampant and everywhere in culture (much like brainwashing) and still is today. Like Satan whispering to Eve in the garden, these lies whisper to us throughout the course of the day when we are taking care of our homes, raising the children, supporting our husbands, etc. Satan is trying his best to get our attention for he knows if he can thwart our efforts and attentions we will abandon our roles. We will abandon our homes. We will abandon our position as helpmeet and mothers. He knows we can’t train the next generation of godly seed if we are focused on ourselves and wallowing in a pool of self-pity.

Wake up, ladies! The trumpet is sounding–get back to your posts! The enemy lurks and wants your children, your marriage, your home! As Christian women we must know how vital our roles are in society, we must understand that we (second only to God) are the cornerstones in helping to build strong, Christian societies in our nation today….but if we abandon our roles we contribute to it’s demise and destruction. We abandon it by forsaking our roles and chasing after the lies.

Feminism has stolen so much from Christianity and America. If we are faithful and diligent we can reclaim it. But it begins with you. Stop listening to the fatal lies and turn back to the pure, holy Word of God for your source of life and direction.

(This post was originally written on October of 2007 at A Wise Woman Builds Her Home originally under the title Feminism Exposed)

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Razor-mouthed Christians

Why is it that so many Christians (many whose writings I usually appreciate) seem to think it's cool to ignore 1 Corinthians 13:1 while "proclaiming the truth" (as if love equals weakness). Truth is paramount; however, humility and love must undergird all of our words. And the good of the hearer to the glory of God must be our motive.

Malicious sarcasm, abrasive speech, and arrogant "rightness" have no place in the delivery of the Word of God, and only demonstrate prideful motives.

"Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal…” (1 Corinthians 13:1)

Regardless of a man’s eloquent speech, or his “right-on” blog posts, if he speaks his words without love, they fall on our ears like a rusty, out-of-tune trumpet. Instead of the music acting as a balm to our weary souls, we are assaulted by a cacophony of clanging. We run from the room with our ears covered not because music is bad, but because of the rusty trumpet that fails to communicate any sort of melody!

Perhaps, more often than not, people don’t “get” what we’re saying because we’ve been more concerned about being right than we have been about getting to the heart of the hearer. Our presentation of any truth should be immersed in the love of Christ.

Each of us must walk worthy of our calling: "With all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." (Ephesians 4:2-3, NKJV)

And as we present the truth to others, including our children, we “must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will.” (2 Timothy 2:24-26, NKJV)

And for the record, this doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t boldly and unashamedly proclaim the truth of God’s Word. It just means that we don’t pridefully use “the truth” to destroy one another. Because if we do, we prove that the truth is not in us.

"But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes." (1 John 2:11, ESV)

This doesn't mean that if I blow it, I am not a Christian. But it does mean that if I continue to walk in a way that communicates a distinct lack of love for my brother, my sinful heart is exposed and I better repent.

And let us all avoid dissensions and quarrels about the law, and commit to firmly communicating the truth - firmly, boldly, graciously, and always, always in love.

"But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless. As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned." (Titus 3:9-11, ESV)

And as far as the Internet goes, keep in mind that unbelievers are watching. We will either hallow His name or cause it to be blasphemed among the cyber-heathen.

Remember, a soft answer turns away wrath. And if you can't find a soft answer, perhaps you should walk away. I've had to do that. I can slip into sarcasm very easily (you should see all the "great replies" that dance through my head when someone is being snippy. Thankfully, through conviction and consequence, God is teaching me to guard my tongue...and my keyboard. So, let's pray for each other because...

"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;" (1 Corinthians 13:4-6,)

Just a thought from Stacy McDonald

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What Happened to Wedding Gowns and Bridemaids dresses?

I remember as a young girl cutting wedding dresses pictures from magazines saving them for my future wedding gown. I would usually have two pictures, one for the top and the other one for the bottom.  As I was getting married, I was blessed to find a dress that fit me perfect and was simple and modest.  I wanted to be comfortable and reflect Christ.

Many  Christian weddings we have attended, I'm left wandering what happened to purity, to modesty, to representing the Bride of Christ in this holy Covenant?  When the bride's entrance is announced, it is the awaited moment for the wedding to begin.  All eyes are on her--the whole time.  Why don't brides care the way they look to Christ, to her future husband and to others?  I usually see the bride with a strapless, or a low cut in front or back dress that is so low that you're always wandering what's going to happen next.  Especially as she keeps pulling it up the whole time.

Are you getting married?  Think about making your Heavenly Father smile at the purity you will represent on this very special day.  Jesus our Bridegroom will marry a bride with no spot or wrinkle that when she walks down the aisle she will radiate with His Holiness.

Here are some helpful links

www.beautifullymodest.com

www.virtiousweddings.com

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How young is too young to teach Modesty

[caption id="attachment_477" align="alignleft" width="150" caption="modesty, girl"][/caption]

Unless you're remotely separated from civilization, you may not have to do much instruction about  Modesty.  But living in a Califorina city where even going to Target or standing at the grocery store's cashier line is insulting because of the lustful pictures of men and women.  I used to ask my 3 year old to get the mail, but I stop because of the department store's models ads.  Also, if you have relatives or friends who don't have the same convictions and give "trendy clothes" to your daughter that are not descent.  Soon I knew that I had to start teaching my daughter right away very young.  Yes, she is a little girl, but she is a growing girl and what I allow now will be normal and common when she is a little older.

As a little girl, I taught her the "Truth or Bare" tips from Secret Keeper Girl (see my Truth or Bare post).  As she got a little older.  I'm talking 5 and 6.  I instructed her in the why so this conviction will be something she believes and becomes a way of life and burden.  It may become legalism if they don't embrace the truth behind Modesty.

I would teach her two main things:  1)  We don't dress to please ourselves or please others like friends, relatives, latest fashion, trendy clothes.  2)  We dress to please our King.  "You're a princess of the King"  I say often, "you dress like one". 

Thus our girls wear skirts and dresses most of the time.  There is no legalism or strictness about it because the main issue is modesty.  When girls are young they jump and play a lot.  Dad has commanded modesty first in this matter.  Tight clothes are out too and so are boyish looking clothes.  You'll be surprised how the girls would feel very unconfortable when someone gives them something they're not used to wearing.  I don't need to tell my 6 year old anything, she would just want to use the fabric for dolls clothes.

here is a nice website for girls clothes www.daddys-little-princess.com

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Truth or Bare?

http://www.secretkeepergirl.com/Truth_or_Bare.aspx

Here you will find tips I have taught my girls when dressing.  Although I don't totally agree that girls should follow today's fashion or trend even if you can work your way around it to make it modest.  Fashions for the most part come out of Hollywood.  What the pop stars are wearing.  I don't allow my girls to wear mini skirts with those tight leggings.  We don't follow fashions, we follow our King.  But you should in no way follow the same, this is only our choices.

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Modesty and Attractiveness

Posted By Mrs. Eva H. on April 20, 2010 on LAF/Beatiful Womanhood

You should not judge a book by its cover. That is true. And if you have time in the library to browse and read the back flap or half a chapter, you will often come home with an amazing book even though the cover didn’t really promise much. But how often do you have time for all that? Between children, household, work, family, hobbies… quite often we run in and out of the library in fifteen minutes and we have to content ourselves with first impressions. After a while you even become very good at this. You know what styles of illustrations probably promise a great read, or what kind of font is often used just to draw attention to a cheap sensationalist piece of non fiction. Now and again we have pleasant or unpleasant surprises, but, in general, we know what we get. After all, a scientific work will not often have a full-colour shot of playing children against the background of a wheat field on it, a family novel will rarely have a shiny black dust jacket with blood drops over the title.

In the same way, people who do not have the time to truly get to know us and be surprised by our personality must judge us by what they see–the woman we pass in the grocery store, the librarian, the people we meet on the street. While it is true that beauty starts on the inside, the way we present ourselves shows that we care about the feelings of others who meet us. We should not explicitly dress to get attention to ourselves, but it is a thoughtful gesture to present ourselves with the beauty with which the Lord has endowed us undimmed by sloppiness or carelessness.

Modesty is very important to me. And yet few people would look at me on the street and immediately have it pop into their mind “Oh my, she dresses modestly.” If we make a feature of our modesty that attracts attention, can we call it modesty? Or does it become a way to show the world how “holy” we are?

Many people cringe when they hear the word modesty, because it is often associated with unattractiveness. And as daughters of the King, we are certainly not called to unattractiveness. He created us as women and wants us to celebrate that beauty and to adorn our temples–just not in a way that they incite lust in others. There often is confusion about the word “attractiveness” Should we dress attractively? My answer is a resounding “yes.”

In Corinthians, it is said that our body is a temple, belonging to God.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 (New International Version)

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

And in 1 Kings 6, we find a description of how the temple looked. It is clear that it’s not a matter of putting up whatever as long as the structure is sound. The temple is lined with carved cedar wood; the door to the sanctuary is carved and overlaid with gold; even the courtyard is made with dressed stone and trimmed cedar wood. Everything is done to make the temple of the Lord a work that delights the senses.

We, too, are to be a delight to behold, which means that “Well, it’s modest” is no reason for a potato sack of a dress or an oversized sweatshirt. That does not mean that we should frivolously spend hours and hours before the mirror or that we have to spend money that we do not have on designer clothes. Those are rarely modest anyhow. It means that in our appearance as well as in our demeanour, we need to represent the King.



Combining modesty and attractiveness requires some thought and effort. And many of us lead busy lives. We are also not perfect, which means we may fail now and again, or will need to reassess our wardrobes or our routines. The last few months I have realised that a lot of the garments that I wore that were both attractive and modest earlier, are not anymore. How did that happen? Well, pregnancy and breastfeeding changed my body type. Some places are now filled more and others less. This affects both hemlines and cleavage. Some dresses need a little top underneath them now to be modest. Some dresses are a bit too tight and therefore unflattering. And some things have been washed so often that they have become a bit more see-through than they were when I bought them, making them both less modest and less attractive.

But it is not just a matter of clothes. I need to tone up a little bit, to make my body–my temple–strong and healthy. I need to find new routines for my hair and skin care. And, underneath it all, as the foundation, I need to make sure that my spirit is aimed at God, my soul is longing for Him, and my mind is set on Him.
Does it sound overwhelming? It can be. Which is why routines and plans and actions need the occasional adjustment, and attitude often needs some fine-tuning.

Body, mind and soul need to be a unit. It is not a matter of “either/or.” A Father wants the best for his daughter. A King expect a lot of his princesses, or even his ladies in waiting.

Mary, mother of Jesus said of herself: “Behold, the handmaiden of the Lord…” Think about it, each day we serve in His presence. Should we not dress the part? If today we were standing before the heavenly throne, would we feel awkward and sloppy?

I am by no means saying that there are not certain times in which practicality needs to have more sway than beauty. Sometimes we need to dig in the yard. Sometimes we need to be on our hands and knees to scrub a floor. Sometimes we need to take care of a whole household of sick people and we spend our days between buckets and toilets and dishes.



But the other busy days in which we need to take care of children, we should not be wearing an outfit that proclaims to the world that we just don’t care. Frumpy blouses, sweatpants, oversized T shirts, and overwashed, ill-fitting jeans have given more than one mom the appearance of having given up.  And when our lives ought to be a living sign of the Hope that is our Lord, giving up is simply not an option.

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"Too much skin, girl. Too much skin"

As the weather becomes warmer, the clothes start coming off. While summer is appreciated and welcomed, especially in areas that have winter climates, it also brings real and difficult sexual temptation. As we celebrate the warmer weather, let’s make sure we don’t forget how and why to serve our “neighbor.”

I’ll not make a case here for porn. I’ve done that in other places. I’ll simply say that porn is the number one counseling issue with men, whether they come to counseling for that reason or not. Porn is the biggest industry on the Internet and it is the most-oft-used marketing approach on television. Our culture, Christian and non-Christian alike, is head-over-heels in love with the human body. Sex sells. Please do not be naive on this matter. Sex has gripped our teens and it infects our husbands.

The Blame Game

I also appeal to you as you read this post to not fall into the defensive trap of blaming the other gender because they are sinful. Can we embrace Paul’s attitude of being the “chief sinner” by recognizing that we all should be huddling around the “chair” he vacated at his death? That will make a difference. I am the biggest sinner I know. Sadly, I now sit atop Paul’s Chief Seat! How about you? Do you really believe you sit with me? Your humility will affect how you respond to this post.

It is true that some men will lust at any female, at any time, just because she is breathing and walking upright. Every man has two functioning realities regarding the opposite sex, neither of which is an excuse to sin.

1. God made him to be visually attracted to the opposite sex. This is a good thing. It helps him to find, love, lead, honor, nourish, cherish, and serve a wife.


2. Satan flung man into self-centeredness. Now man has a hostile adversary. It is lust. What God meant for good has turned on man and now he is tempted to twist love into self-centered lust.

Additionally, women were made to be attractive, but Satan has done a number on them as well. They are tempted to crave for the attention they can receive by presenting themselves in such a way to capture the gaze of a man. They, like man, have taken God’s gift to them and twisted, bent, and turned it back onto themselves.

As you have surmised, these posts on modesty are not about who has the most guilt. To go there is to miss the point, while revealing a myopic understanding of the real issue. This article is an appeal to model the Gospel (caring for others) by our appearance.

Where does your gaze go?

A few years ago, a wife in a small group was wearing mini-shorts with an ALL CAPS word written across her rear end. Besides her shorts being provocatively short, she had a sign on her bottom that essentially said, “Please look at my rear end.” Unfortunately, no one in the group had a relationship with her in order to serve her as well as her husband regarding common sense ways to dress.

This lady was unwittingly (I assume) capturing the gaze of all the men and women in the small group. She was foolish in her dress. She was dressing in an anti-Gospel way. The Gospel is about serving others. It is about helping others to grow deeper in their relationship with the Savior. What she was doing, was capturing the gaze of another man, by drawing his attention to her rear end.

We should model John’s advice in John 3:30: “He must increase, but I must decrease.” John was a signpost who had one mission: to point others to the Savior. This lady was a signpost that pointed others to her bottom. If we dress in such a way to draw attention to ourselves, then we are tempting those around us to sin (man’s problem), while feeding our own idolatrous craving for attention (woman’s problem).

Ladies and gentlemen, I exhort you to dress in such a way that does not capture anyone’s gaze, but actually gives others something else, besides your attire, to think about. Discretion is a godly trait. At times, it is better to exercise self-control, by setting aside our personal preferences for the glory of God. May our godly words and godly behavior be unimpeded by the things we wear as we seek to assist others to see Christ in us.

Here is the link to this article and more on modesty: http://www.competentcounseling.com/2010/02/23/too-much-skin-girl-too-much-skin/

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Virtuous Womanhood

Virtuous Womanhood, exerpt summary from the book "Much More"

 How strange is to refer to a woman as a “godly woman” these days.  We hear of successful woman, career woman, talented, sophisticated, smart, beautiful divorced.  It is a much nobler thing to be a good wife than to be Miss America.  It is a greater achievement to establish a Christian home than it is to produce a second-rate novel filled with filth. The world has enough women who know how to be smart.  It needs women who are willing to be simple.  There are enough brilliant women, but lacks brave women.  There are enough popular women, but lacks pure women.

 A real woman is a woman who recognizes that she has been exquisitely and perfectly created by a loving God for a unique purpose.  Out of genuine gratitude, awe, and a desire to please her Maker, a real woman joyfully embraces her femininity and submits every aspect of her identity to God’s original and unique design for her as a woman.

• Self-denial

1 Corinthians 6:19, 20

Matthew 10:39

Jeremiah 19:9

• Humility

1 Peter 5:5

•  A gentle and quiet spirit

1 Peter 3:3-4

Psalm 37:11

Psalm 147:6

• Dependence and Non-self-sufficiency

Self-confidence and self-esteem are humanistic ideas that people are inherently good.  But our source of strength and confidence must be entirely in Him (Psalm 18:32; Psalm 52:5-9).

•  Dress Modestly, excellent and feminine

1 Timothy 2:9

1 Timothy 5:2

Matthew 5:28

Romans 15:1-3

When we do our brothers harm by tempting them to sin, we are sinning against then and against God.

1 Peter 3:3-4

Isaiah 3:16-24

Proverbs 31:22 (excellent)

Deuteronomy 22:5 (feminine)

The highest and noblest vocation of all

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