"An Older Woman", an honorable title

It's true that in today's societal language, the term "older woman" may seem offensive.   Most woman spend countless of dollars trying to hide or at least slow down the showing of their old age.  Of course, we've never heard of a church ministry called, "the older woman's bible study".  Why, what would come to most people's minds are a bunch of old, argumantative, controlling, gossips, commando.  Who would want to go or even be a part of?

Nonetheless, contrary to our culture today, even our 20th century western church, an older woman's ministry is indespensible, biblical, much needed, extremely important and highly honored.  I am not saying that just merely age would qualify you to be in this type of ministry.  We all know that being older doesn't necessarily means you have become wiser.  Proverbs says it is even a disgrace.   I would qualify an older woman's ministry by the wisdom she has in the Lord.

I admire these woman who have suffered and sacrificed their own ambitions, if they ever had any, and gave themselves to serve God by serving their family, loving their husbands, loving their children, being keepers at home.  That is exactly what Titus 2 refers to.

I am very blessed to know some.  One of them is a widow of 105 years old, who by the grace of God, stands strong in the Lord.  This is a tribute to her.  Many may not know the countless hours, the short nights, the 12 children she raised, the honor she gave to her husband till this day.   Mama Sarita ministers to the soul of women in this generation by her humility, love, compassion, serving heart, joy and godly wisdom.  She belongs not to her own emotions, wants and desires, but only to Christ.  She prides herself in being wholy His and never belonging to the world's ways of rebellious attitudes.

One lesson I learned from her is the high honor and respect she holds towards her deceased husband.  Others have said (never heard from her lips) that he was not the best man or husband to her.  Nonetheless, if I had not heard other testimonies of her husband, I would have never guessed.  I regret it because that was never her wish.  She recounts the story of when he would be away from home at night.  Other gossip woman would put ideas into her head to wait for him at night as ask him where and with whom he had been.  He had done it countless times before, but she never thought any evil of him.   So she decided to listen to these women and she did.  She waited late at night for him.  He never came.  She went out in the crossway.  There was no sign of him.  Suddenly, she said to herself, "Sara, what on earth are you, a married woman, with children at home, doing in the middle of the night out in the street.  If your husband were to find out, what would he think of you?"  And with that thought, she hurriedly went home, locked the door and went to bed.  Of course, the thought of where he could be still lingered in her mind.  But another thought prevailed, "Sara, you are a woman with duties and cannot spare to waste precious sleep in worthess worries and thoughts.  That is pure devil.  If you dont' go to sleep I'm going to swat you."  Surprisingly, that is exactly what she did.  She got grabbed something within reach and swatted herself in the head to make herself fall asleep.  When morning came, and husband was found coming, not a word of rebuke did she spoke to him.

"How are you Sara?" he greeted half drunk or really drunk.

"Not as well as yourself but fulfilling my duties.  I've fed the chickens, milked the cow, and got the children going." She responded without a frown or scorn.

"First gol", he replied, realizing he was quite a shameful sight. "Well, Sara, what do you think? The men are waiting for me for orders, should I go?"

"You know how make desicions for you are a leader, but under your circumstances, I'm not sure you can get much accomplish."

"Second gol," he said admitting his state.  And with that he took off again.

Sarah cared and honored her husband and would never think of giving him a scornful rebuke.  "He was my husband and I owe him respect." She would say.  An another instance, one of her boys was going through his father's wallet and found the picture of another woman.  Thinking he would tell on him and mother would handle it from there, he eagerly brought the picture to her astounded at the finding.  The boy expected a different reaction from his mother.  Instead, she turned to him with a dissaproving look and said, "where did you find it?  Shame on you for going into what privately belongs to your father.  That is lack of respect.  You need only to honor your father.  You better run right away and put that picture back where you found it".   She held her husband's position of authority high before her children.   She did settled the situation with her husband later.  Privately, she lifted the picture so he can get a look at it and said, "where did you find such an ugly picture, she is really a disgrace."  Then she continued soberly, "you are a father, you have sons, what image will they get of their father if they find this out?"  He shamefully hung his head and asked her for forgiveness and approved of her.

It is easy to honor and respect our husbands when they are loving.  But how about when they COMMIT ADULTERY?  How about when they DON'T COME HOME AT NIGHT?  How about when they are not BELIEVERS?   How about when it takes YEARS and they don't seem to change?  I am not saying woman are subjects to be doormats nor do I deny of the pain and heartache she would go through.  I cannot imagine the dreams shattered, the betrayal, the sadness and deep loneliness that a betrayed wife can suffer.  In my opinion, it is worst than being a widow.  Nonetheless, only by God's grace can woman under such circumstances would be able to maintain her dignity and be woman of strength.  In return, she will win the respect of her husband.  Just like Sarah,  in front of the children, he held her high and demanded obedience, honor and respect to their mother.  He lavished her with what pleased her and would go out of his way to grant her small wishes.  If this marriage was young and contemporary, even if she was a Christian, would receive sure sympathy from left to right for a divorce well deserved.

From her example, I conclude that a woman has influence over how her husband treats her.  The more she trusts in the Lord in honoring, loving him, and respecting him (even when it may not seem like the think he deserves), the greater the blessing she will receive from her Heavely Father.  Her submission is ultimately unto the Lord.  Sarah has now lived to see her descendents up to four generations and length of years has the Lord blessed her with.  Her years have not been easy, but rather hard and a hard life is a good life.

What a blessing to the Church is a Wise Older Woman who teaches the young wives to love their husbands in a way that even a pastor, elder or other church leader can't.  She can teach young mothers how to love their children in a way that a Seminary graduate pastor can't.  She can connect heart to heart for her pilgrimage has been the same and by the grace of God she has gained a heart of wisdom.  If older women would minister in such a way, we would have steadfasts wives and mothers, stronger families, stronger churches, stronger societies...you get the point.  I'm not saying she is the key to these  but a part of the Body that needs to come alive.