As the weather becomes warmer, the clothes start coming off. While summer is appreciated and welcomed, especially in areas that have winter climates, it also brings real and difficult sexual temptation. As we celebrate the warmer weather, let’s make sure we don’t forget how and why to serve our “neighbor.”
I’ll not make a case here for porn. I’ve done that in other places. I’ll simply say that porn is the number one counseling issue with men, whether they come to counseling for that reason or not. Porn is the biggest industry on the Internet and it is the most-oft-used marketing approach on television. Our culture, Christian and non-Christian alike, is head-over-heels in love with the human body. Sex sells. Please do not be naive on this matter. Sex has gripped our teens and it infects our husbands.
The Blame Game
I also appeal to you as you read this post to not fall into the defensive trap of blaming the other gender because they are sinful. Can we embrace Paul’s attitude of being the “chief sinner” by recognizing that we all should be huddling around the “chair” he vacated at his death? That will make a difference. I am the biggest sinner I know. Sadly, I now sit atop Paul’s Chief Seat! How about you? Do you really believe you sit with me? Your humility will affect how you respond to this post.
It is true that some men will lust at any female, at any time, just because she is breathing and walking upright. Every man has two functioning realities regarding the opposite sex, neither of which is an excuse to sin.
- God made him to be visually attracted to the opposite sex. This is a good thing. It helps him to find, love, lead, honor, nourish, cherish, and serve a wife.
- Satan flung man into self-centeredness. Now man has a hostile adversary. It is lust. What God meant for good has turned on man and now he is tempted to twist love into self-centered lust.
Additionally, women were made to be attractive, but Satan has done a number on them as well. They are tempted to crave for the attention they can receive by presenting themselves in such a way to capture the gaze of a man. They, like man, have taken God’s gift to them and twisted, bent, and turned it back onto themselves.
As you have surmised, these posts on modesty are not about who has the most guilt. To go there is to miss the point, while revealing a myopic understanding of the real issue. This article is an appeal to model the Gospel (caring for others) by our appearance.
Where does your gaze go?
A few years ago, a wife in a small group was wearing mini-shorts with an ALL CAPS word written across her rear end. Besides her shorts being provocatively short, she had a sign on her bottom that essentially said, “Please look at my rear end.” Unfortunately, no one in the group had a relationship with her in order to serve her as well as her husband regarding common sense ways to dress.
This lady was unwittingly (I assume) capturing the gaze of all the men and women in the small group. She was foolish in her dress. She was dressing in an anti-Gospel way. The Gospel is about serving others. It is about helping others to grow deeper in their relationship with the Savior. What she was doing, was capturing the gaze of another man, by drawing his attention to her rear end.
We should model John’s advice in John 3:30: “He must increase, but I must decrease.” John was a signpost who had one mission: to point others to the Savior. This lady was a signpost that pointed others to her bottom. If we dress in such a way to draw attention to ourselves, then we are tempting those around us to sin (man’s problem), while feeding our own idolatrous craving for attention (woman’s problem).
Ladies and gentlemen, I exhort you to dress in such a way that does not capture anyone’s gaze, but actually gives others something else, besides your attire, to think about. Discretion is a godly trait. At times, it is better to exercise self-control, by setting aside our personal preferences for the glory of God. May our godly words and godly behavior be unimpeded by the things we wear as we seek to assist others to see Christ in us.
Here is the link to this article and more on modesty: http://www.competentcounseling.com/2010/02/23/too-much-skin-girl-too-much-skin/
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